I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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