So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
