There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
