Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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