New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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