Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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