I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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