Fine. I'll sleep in my office
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
