I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
