She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Too much gin, very little bucket
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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