new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I lost the right to judge tonight
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
