oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
