great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize