So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will be naked everywhere
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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