i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
