i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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