2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
