I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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