...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
