i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize