You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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