Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
