at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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