Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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