I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize