i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Randomize
