Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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