Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize