its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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