I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Im just a social blackout drinker.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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