question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize