I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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