bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
