I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Still dying that you shit outside
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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