i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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