were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
