Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
