he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
