M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
