p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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