So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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