it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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