i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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