shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
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I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
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Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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