i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
