I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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