My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
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