We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
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