went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize