i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
