Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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