I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
