maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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