I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize