I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
