I want to make a zoo with you.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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