We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Randomize
